Never again

At the height of winter
we exited the cinema
I wished for snow
and it snowed
golden spheres
a hundred suns
above our heads

In the rain
striding along the river
breaking up in melt
crying why why why

Giving up a state
just to stay here a little longer
doing stupid trivial things

Endangering a life
just to stay here a little longer
doing stupid trivial things

Perhaps when I stood in the cold
hoping to soak in as much of it as I could
to last the rest of my life
I succeeded
better than I had expected
the chill stays
even when the memories have decayed

It all began
the slit between the platform and the train
the curtain of snow
that I pushed through

Crying why why why
if it must end, why let it begin
I cannot believe I remember
the exact words
it has been half a decade

At the food court
Vietnamese spring rolls
dim sum
like it was normal
like it was everyday

That beautiful street that I would never have known
with a name I cannot remember
Korean for dinner
novelty bicycles
a drunk stumbling past
perfect weather for a walk
not too cold
but cold enough
an evening unrivalled
and impossible to repeat

I believe we ran errands the final weekend
laundry
post office
why did we do that
why did I allow that
these stupid trivial things
was I too accommodating
I should have insisted on something special
but what for
if it must end
why make the farewell any harder

And before I knew it
Las Vegas
spring rains washing everything away
snow-lined paths
crumbling
giving way